Deep black hole

This is my first time writing for my blog since 2014. I had neither touch nor open my blog in 2015. Now, I'm going to express my feelings through this.

It has been two days I'm being such a rebellion(dont bother the spelling) in my own house. I dont even know why. Two nights ive been sleeping w tears. Not eating even one piece of rice. Well, i only ate biscuits w coffee. I dont feel hungry, but i feel angry.

Aku ni dah lah jenis kalau marah aku tak lepas, nanti aku burst. So, aku tahan and then air mata pon keluar sebab SAKIT SANGAT! Aku nangis bukan sebab sedih or cengeng, tapi sebab aku GERAM SANGAT. ARGHHHHHH

Aku rasa life kat school lagi best dari kat rumah. At least kau tak kena direct perli 'gemok', 'banyak makan'. Kat skolah takde sape pernah kesah pasal kau. Member semua appreciate ape yg ko pernah buat kat diorang. Takdenye nak anggap aku cam HAMBA ABDI. Sebab tu aku tak pernah suka jadi anak last. Orang pikir anak last disayangi, asal mintak je dapat. Kepala hotak! Aku kena maki lagi ada lah.

I wish i could turn back time. This life is SUCK! I wish i could live my own life alone.

Oh Allah, please guide me for the best and protect me from the harm. Aamiin.

Be tough!

ALLAH's always be with you..

Eh Eh Ko Ni?!

tak sangke enn sampai camtu skali cikgu nilai dak" kelas aku. smpai camtu skali die pndg kwn" aku.aku punyelah ingt cikgu ni cikgu harapan aku tapi...segala-galanya musnah dlm sekelip mata je hanya dgn kata-katanye yg membuatkn aku trsentuh..harapan tu hanyalah harapan PALSU! die just pndg yg buruk je kat kitorang, habis yg baiknye pergi mane?samekn kitorang ngan org zaman cikgu dulu memang tak arr. kitorang ni kire ok lagi au. tak seteruk 'budak' zaman skrg lagi hampeh. kitorang ni kire awal lg eh. weyh! sumpah tak sangke. aku tak trase ngan ape yg die mention tp aku trase ngan care die judge kawan" aku. Ya Allah! sumpah tak sangke au weyh. sampainya hati cikgu ckp mcm tu. klau cikgu trase, saye lg trase. lg ponn tak semua org mcm ape yg cikgu ckp td.cikgu slalu pikir trase cikgu, habis trase kitorang ni plak cam ne? cikgu ckp maen lepas je enn.tak pikir hati ngan prasaan org..mmg la cikgu ni cikgu kami tpcikgu ponn kene ade tolak ansur jugak..ye saye tak nafikn yg tak ramai suke cikgu as cikgu ni baek ke pe tp still! pape argh klau rase cam ayat saye ni agak kuang aja mintak maap sesangat tp saye cume mluahkn prasaan saye as a student. wlauponn cikgu faham SIKIT tentang hidup kami di skolah n asrama camne tp cikgu still tak paham spenuhnya. you must know everything before you judge us anything.

Happy Fasting (:

aku tak paham nape suare aku ni makin lame makin kurang sedap. cehh poyo je. tp betulla. I think there's something wrong with my voice.wtv. prangai aku kebelakangan ni pelik ar, prasan ak? ye arr kejap" ckp psal laki. dulu kemain lg anti-laki. ntah arr. pls la weyh aku tanak ade prasaan cam ni.. I jus want to be normal! geli plak bile pikir balik ape yg aku penah ckp before ni.ewwww.oh btw beok daa boleh start puase.yayy!! this week tak balik.yayyy!nak gi bazaar tp aku tak suke tmpt crowded haish.tringin nak makan rendang.haha speechless kbye.

Finished reading farhana's novel (:

Denial will get you everywhere

deskie's handmade - Yaya

NO!!!

NO! There's NO Zayn Malik Malaysia! There's only one Zayn Malik in this world. ONE AND ONLY! Also the others. There's NO Harry Styles Malaysia, NO Liam Payne Malaysia, NO Niall Horan Malaysia, and lbnl there's absolutely NO Louis Tomlinson Malaysia. They have only ONE in this world! Argh! Hate people! Especially this one person. Hate her for playing my LOUIS! shitzz. GO DIE PEOPLE! Don't you ever dare to take my love! Argh! Dasar rempit gatal! Tukar bf mcm tukar baju! Argh! Gi mampos! !@#$%^&* GO HELL YOU, MOTHERFUCKAH!

My first Oral for this year!

Assalamualaikum w.b.t. I bid to my beloved set teacher, Ms. Mel and to all my fellow set D friends. Today, my oral is about a movie review entitled 'Bridge to Terabithia'. The story is about a boy and a girl who has a special friendship. Every day they would swing across a river to get to a special place called Terabithia. Terabithia is a place where they could express their imagination. They made the Terabithia as their own kingdom. One day, Jess went to a museum as his teacher invited him to. He wanted to bring Leslie along, but in the end he decided not to. That evening, when he returned home, he found his family waiting for him at the living room looking worried. He was confused at first, until he finally found out that his best friend, Leslie passed away. She died because the rope that they used to swing across the river snapped and she fell into the river. At the late feast of Leslie, Jess said to his teacher,"Next time, we should invite Leslie to go. She'd like that". At the end of the story, Jess brought his sister to Terabithia and made her as the princess of Terabithia and Jess the prince. In the nutshell, I recommend this movie as it tells us about how precious friendship is. So, cherish your time with your friends as they are the ones whom you would refer to after your family. With that, I thank you.

Home Sweet Home!

Rabu ni balik! wa dah tak sabar nak balik. semak duduk skolah cam gua ni. dah arr kene marah semalam. aduhhh buat mende bagos ponn kene marah petah lagi buat mende tak elok. balik ni aku nk fokuskn kpd sport's day ngan beday girl jekk. ceyyy yelah org pakai costume enn ahhahaha memang balik ni aku pulun buat costume je la hehe tak sabar nak balik..tak sabar nak kluar skolah...tak sabar nak fly...huhu anyway,,fokus for tarik tali ptg ni..haish tetibe ade plak smlm kate luse..adoyyy #GGTOPAZ

Aduhhh

esok dah nak balik skolah smule..rase cam tanak balik jekk..balik2 kene mngadap muke pompuan tuh..haishh..sape??teka arr..dielah hamba Allah yg paling aku benci n menyampah n what so ever kat muke bumi ni..aku tak rase aku sorang jekk yg benci die...maybe DL topaz kot..huhu lic.anyway,,sampai mati ponn aku tak leh lupe kau ludah kat muke aku haritu ehh pompuan!aku paling benci bile org suke tuduh org yg tak buat salah ponn TANPA disoal selidik terlebih dahulu..sukati mak nenek kau jekk nak sergah ingat aku ni ape??!itu baru menjawab skit..silap2 klau aku melawan terus kena buang skolah agaknye..haish..abah ni pon satu..org punyelah cite dr A to Z die ckp benda kecik jek??@#$%??! aku tak puas ati betei..naseb baek abelong memahami..yelah..abelong kan sbp same cam aku gak..die paham la skit idop dak2 dduk sbp nih..kire lega gak arr bile abelong ckp camtu..at least ade yg memahami..tak de lah rase cam nak revenge/rebel enn??ok lah..rase cam nak tido ponn ade..bye blog (:

Esok Balik Ooi! Neway,,Welcome 2014!heheh

mmg malam ni x tido duk packing brg jek adoyyyai..papepon diri ini mmg dah dikenal ngan keje last minute huaaaaaaaaa so wat lek wat peace jek lerrrrrrrrrr..2014 nih wa kelas 4E,,dorm leader chryst 3 hmmmmmmm acano nak handle f3 eh??hahahah wa tak kesah asalkn dekat ngan toilet n lampu ok hahahah x sabar nak KESUMA doooooooooo!!aku jamin next year konpom kurus derrrrrrrrrr mane tak nyer...kelas top floor,dorm 2nd floor,jd dorm leader kene gi KESUMA plak adoyyyyyai..x pe argh! janji kurus! huahuahua nickay,,get ready with f4 subjects!maybe they will kill yourself dear!omA!I must get through this thing!Wish me luck guys!

Keep Calm and Stay Cute! :P

My Cutie :)))

Alhamdulillah..Terima Kasih Ya Allah!!

hari ni aku baru balik dr KL yg angat membosangkan! pegi punye ler lamenyer..padahal nak amek result jek..adoyyy! ini ler padahnyer kalo dah skolah jejauh..rindu rumahku!!!!! eventhough bosang,,aku x balik ngan tgn kosong..syukur Alhamdulillah Allah dah makbulkan doa dan impianku untuk mencapai 8A dlm PMR!!!ini semua berkat doa mak ngan abah,, dan jugak berkat aku ngan kengkawan yg rajin bngon malam buat qiam sesame..berjemaah lah katekn..itu yg seronok dok asrama nih..neway,,aku x lupe gak yg sebelom ni aku dah janji klau aku dapat 8A,,aku nak post slip result kat blog ni,,kan??jgn risau,,nanti engok lerr kat bawah ek??heheh papepong aku bersyukur angat n x sangke dpat 8A..8A kott! x pernah2 dpat tetibe dapat..heheh Alhamdulillah..tp,,keje aku blom abes lg...aku still kene blaja nak sujud syukur,,remember??hmmm..ia mengambil mase sebnarnye..it's okay! aku boleh blajar slow2..In Shaa Allah boleh! klau x buat nanti nmpk angat yg aku ni kufur ngan nikmat Allah..tau mintak jek tp bile dah dpat,,x bersyukur pon...haishhh oklah! smpai ni jek yg nk ditulis..nnti x dpt plak nk engok slip result aku..eheheh ciao!

Yayyyyyy!!

Ya Allah, cuaknyer!!

luse nih dah nk amek result..trase kecut plak perut nih..Ya Allah,,asal kejap2 aku confident, kejap2 x nih..takutnyer...nak angat dpt 8A sbb dpt la rase yg graf trun this year..tringin nak tulis yg aku dapat 8A dlm blog yg agak dingin nih.. In Shaa Allah,, klau result 8A(Aamin) aku post gambar slip result aku dlm blog..but,,it also take a few times to learn how to 'sujud syukur' when I get the result that I dreamed before. adoyy tapi itu tidak menjadi masalah..kite boleh belajaq perlahan-lahan..Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku,,kau berikanlah kpdku dan rakan2ku keputusan yg baik dan cukup untuk menggembirakan hati kedua-dua ibu bapa kami, guru2 kami, ahli keluarga kami, dan org2 di sekeliling kami,,Ya Rahim..Jika sebaliknyer,,kau tabahkanlah hati kami Ya Rabb..Aamiin Ya Rabbal Alamin...

Credits to Alia Nadhira :D

Die buat hal lagi!!

ape yg budak ni nak aku pon x tahu! dah la dua taon lg mude dr aku..dah nak tunjuk belang..haish junior...junior...waktu aku standard six dlu panggil aku gemuk la ape la..ye memang aku gemuk pon!(eventhough cg ridzuan ckp aku x gemuk cume tough je) tp x perlulah nk bajet fun dowh!ape??kau igt pompuan gmuk cam aku x leh ade abg angkat?? abis asal kau hamak sgt ngan abg angkat aku??aku tahu lah kau cantik and lawa dan aku x SEcantik kau! aku x tahu nape aku x leh lupe silap die..td aku TERnmpk fb aeman..yg mnyakitkn matenye boleh plak die chat ngan betine tuh..weyh!! ckup la kau dah kcau abg angkat aku,,ni kau nk kcau abg kandung aku plak?!!ape mslh kau??! dah la junior! nasib baik aku x amik kesah angat sbb aku tahu abg angkat aku malas nk layan prangai kau yg gedik tuh..so itu x menjadi mslh..cume aku x tahu lah..mungkin aeman mmg jnis yg suke layan junior pompuan kot sbb yelah..aku kan jaoh dr die..aku pon dah x brape nk layan die sgt since die couple ngan kawan old bestie aku tuh..lg pon aku trnmpk gmbr aina (old bestie) ngan aeman..so paham2 je lah..actually,,I just want my old life..my life when I really close to my brother. If I could turn back time rewind....I swear that I would love you more,,my brother <3

ps// x kan berkat hidup kau tanpa restu dari aku,,loser rango!

Best Moment Ever! :P

hari jumaat hari tuh,, kan balik..ayah aku tetibe ambik aku after sembahyang jumaat.. selalunye die ambik before tu..rupe2nye, die ade meeting and after tu still ade meeting..pukul 3.. die tnye aku boleh kluar skolah pkul brape?? aku ckplah before pkul 6.. kenape?? pastu die ckp ade meeting kat putrajaya..die igt nk ambik aku after meeting..pastu die tnye.. ke nak ikut skali?? aku cam mesti bosan..tpi ikut je lah sbb ayah aku ckp klau nak kluar pg mmbli pegilah kdai kat tepi2 tuh..ok fine.. dlm prjlnn nk pg, ayah aku tnye,, ke nak pegi alamanda??sbb pejabat abah ade kat tepi alamanda je..aku cam biar betik ayah aku ni.. buang tebiat ke ape tetibe bg aku pg alamanda sorang2. tp aku on je cume betul ke bngunn tu sblh alamanda je..mestilah kene jln kaki skit ke ape.. bile dah smpai tuh,,mmg,,cross je jln raya terus nmpk pintu alamanda. weyh seronok siot wktu tuh hnye Allah je yg tau.. aku smpai sane awal,pkul 2.40..ayah aku habis meeting 4.30..kau rase ape weyh jln2 dlm alamanda dr 2.40 smpai 4.30 sorang2.. weyh sumpah seronok weyh..x de sape bleh halang aku.. cume waktu tuh ade rmai arr gak bdak sas.. ahh! kesah ape aku.. janji aku bahagia.. seronok weyh.. pastu jumpe nina plak..nina najaa...die plik tgok aku jln sesorang..heheh..seronok weyh.. stiap kali aku jumpe budak sas,, msti nmpk diorng jln dlm group..aku jln sensorang je,, x kene culik pon.. nmpk x permainan die? hahaha.. seronok giler weyh ..before nih aku pernah janji after pmr aku nak taram chatime bebanyk..x yah ckp arr weyh..smpai alamanda aku serang chatime dlu..nk blik tu pon aku serang chatime lg.. hari tuh aku minum chatime je weyh.. seronok siot..smpai ayah aku pon ckp minumn zaman moden la katakn.. hahah weyh seronok weyh sumpah.. alamanda tuh memang aku punye la weyh hari tu... bygkan dgn pkai baju outing pastu pkai beg dua2 belah jln sensorang mcm org gile sape je yg x tkot weyh.. sape je nak culik aku waktu..seronok en jd aku.. heheh tu je nk cite sbnrnye..hahahahahaha

My UNIC name! :P

I love my nickname. It's so unic! Bukan senang nak fikir name cam ni tau! Lagi pon bukan aku yg fikir sendiri..haha! 'Nickay' tu Basyirah n my senior dorm for last two years, Kak Zulaikha yg bagi.. Tomlinson tu of course la Kak Fiffy Horan yg bagi! Directioners kot! nie sume dak2 Directioners je nih..heheh Kak Nina Styles..haha..sounds cool, isn't it? Actually I really love it because Louis is so handsome like arghh!! Agak sedih bile terlpas 1D Day live stream hari tuh..huhu Neway,, love Louis forever.. <3

Sahabat Untuk Selamanya ~ Padi

I love this song. I love it because Johan and Zizan always sing this song together. We can see their closeness. Really sweet to see them together. I want to be like them. So far, I don't really worry about my friendship because I have my own one. I don't like to mention her only as my bestfriend, but I love to say that she's the best superfriend that I've ever had! She always there when I need her. She hears my stupid confessions, she wipes my tears when I drop it and she takes good care of me when I got a fever. So many things that she had done to me. She's willing to accompany me to stay up all night. Almost every day she story to me about her games. Kind of fun to hear it. Once I see her tear drops, it makes my heart feel sad. I want to be her best superfriend until my last breath. I wish that our friendship will last longer until the afterlife.. <3

A Walk to Remember...

I remember the moment when we were together in standard three, you were a class monitor and I'm your assistant. When I first saw you, it feels like I don't want to see you again, in the other words, I hate you. Since that day, I always bullied you and your friends. You had my punched and my kicked. I won't ever hesitate to beat up you, but I don't know how, a few weeks later, we started to talk to each other like there's nothing happened between us. Then, you confessed to me. Maybe my mind still immature at that time so that's why I accepted your sweet-talked. Since that moment, I started to love you. By the end of the year, I had to move to another school. Until now, I still don't know how far our relationship. That was the last time we met. Now, I'm in Fully Residential School, further apart from your life. I just want to know, do you still remember me? Yesterday I found you in Facebook. You seem so handsome and you're not chubby anymore. Lastly, I just want to say that I'm still waiting for you to finish this stupid relationship because I don't have any feeling at you anymore..Sorry for everything..Ok,,yulk! Euwww! Fyi,, I've changed...I'm totally changed..okay I'm frustrated right now! I don't want to talk about it anymore..FULLSTOP!